Diet Diaries: Keto Guido
Hi there, my loves! I’ve dropped off the face of the earth AGAIN. I’m sorry. I have no excuse really, I’ve just been busy with work and living my life outside of screens when possible.
Since I last wrote not much has changed. I really love my new job, I still very much love my friends and fam, and am still working out just so I can keep drunk eating with limited consequences. Jk, kind of. I have a new-ish shoulder injury courtesy of boxing for a year (I won’t bore you with the technical details). I also have been traveling more, which is exciting! I’m going to Vegas for my birthday, and you know your girl plans on lounging (read: drinking) poolside. Which means I need a beach bod. Leading me to the real point of this blog - my eating habits LOL.
Anyone who knows me can vouch that I love to eat. I have never and will never be someone who won’t eat for the sake of being ‘skinny’. I also have never been said ‘skinny’. I’m by no means claiming anything is wrong with my body; I just have a phat b00ty. Which is cool. We all have our own body types and will always look different, that’s the joy of life! Nonetheless, I could definitely stand to get in better shape. And you may have heard around the street, diet is 80% of the equation.
Now hear me out, I’m not trying to shed a ton of weight, I just want to lose fat while gaining muscle. AKA, I want to get RIPPED. I just want one ab okay? If we’re being honest with ourselves, we all love a quick fix (I know, health is forever not temporary). As long as I’m healthy, not hungry, and have all my nutrients, I’m game. My biggest problem happens to be how easily I get bored (this includes diets but also everything in my life), so in my health journey I’ve found I love to try new diets.
This past year I tried a few...lol. I’ve tried the CLEAN program as you may recall. I’ve also tried a makeshift Mediterranean diet, aka just eating veggies, whole grains, fish/meats, and fruits - also what some may call a well-rounded diet. I got bored sautéing vegetables every night so that didn’t last long.
Many of my coworkers and some of my close friends had done the keto diet, and they all saw tremendous success, so I decided to follow in their footsteps. I must admit, I was a bit skeptical, because I really LOVE carbs.
I started with a two-week plan from Diet Doctor, which was pretty chill. From there I signed up for a free month-long trial with them, and was using pre-made meal plans, or just making my own from their recipes. Basically, I was eating a lot of eggs, cheese, avocados, veggies, meat, and fish. When I say I ate a lot of eggs, I really ate a lot of eggs, almost two cartons a week, HA.
The diet plan was easy to follow, and I already meal prep, which made this whole process even easier. Here’s what I found in my keto journey:
The keto flu is real. About three or four days into doing keto I definitely felt it. My head hurt, I had constant hangover brain, and I felt generally foggy and weak. On the plus side, it only lasted a few days.
Logging my food for the first two or three weeks was a lifesaver. I used MyFitnessPal to track everything I ate because I honestly had no damn clue how many carbs were in anything. Like hello, did you know there are 92 g of carbs in a pack of ramen?!
I found it easier to start rigidly then loosen up as I went forward. I was following a very tight keto plan, keeping my net carb intake to under 20 g. That may not seem wild but think of the ramen I just mentioned. Another example, an apple has 19 g of carbs (all from sugar which you’re also avoiding).
I don’t miss fruit much. I probably could do with eating more of it in general, but that’s beside the point. Surely with a less strict plan, you could eat a bit more of it too. But even on the plan I followed, I could still have a handful of berries a day (which is more than I eat regularly lolol).
I didn’t find it hard to cut sugar. I don’t put it in my coffee, I only do a splash of milk or creamer, which is keto kool. Even though I’m a dessert fiend, I don’t actually eat sweets that often, just the occasional chocolate which is also fine on keto! (Clarification, technically dark chocolate is keto kool, not milk).
I did miss snacking, though. Honestly, I’m not even a big snacker, but once I couldn’t have chips, all I wanted was chips. Sigh. But I did get to snack on pork rinds a lot LOL. Also, seaweed snacks. And cheese. And healthy chips… :(
Drinking is allowed, YES! As with everything, moderation is key. But you can definitely have vodka sodas or any liquor you want. If you didn’t know, after the distillation process all liquor loses its sugars, so they have zero carbs! It’s the added mixers that do you dirty. Supposedly alcohol can speed up ketosis, hmm...
Going out to eat is kind of hard, but doable. Most places have carb/grain free options. Aka a salad or a fish/meat plate with veggies. I wouldn’t recommend cheating on keto within the first two weeks though, as you’re just getting into the diet. I had two slices of pizza on a night out about two weeks in and felt SO sick after. And no, it wasn’t just the alcohol.
In my opinion, you should try keto for at least a month. I don’t think you’d see many results with less time as you’re just fully getting in the swing of ketosis about two weeks in for most people. If you’re wondering how to see if you’re in ketosis, you can just pee on one of these sticks. Your breath might also smell weird in the beginning, just saying.
Keto got much easier after week three/four. At this point, I knew for the most part what I could and couldn’t eat, and even felt okay when I had small cheat meals. I think I can attribute this to not feeling the need to binge eat carbs as I was more used to the diet.
The results are real. As aforementioned, I don’t actually care about losing weight, I just want to lose fat. Don’t we all, Aleks? Yes. We do. And keto helps! I was working out regularly while on the diet - I lost a total of 7 lbs. in a month and went down roughly 2% in body fat according to my smart scale. AND I’ve kept the weight off over a month later. Woooooooo!
Overall, I really liked keto. I can’t say I’d do it forever, but I’m definitely giving it another go soon. As with anything difficult, it took some determination to stay motivated throughout. And of course, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, everything in moderation!! I’m strongly against restricting yourself from things that bring you joy, and I don’t think restrictive diets are the way to go long term. So as with anything, just make sure you’re staying safe and doing your research, folks. There are tons of articles and books on keto, so you’ll surely find what you need.
I’ll always love carbs but I can now say it wasn’t too bad being a keto guido. Pizza n blessings.
