The Clean Cleanse, My Week of Smoothies
I consider myself a very detail-oriented person, specifically when it comes to planning anything and everything I do. But sometimes I’ll be super spontaneous and *not* plan the next week down to the minute – soooo crazy, I know! And that’s exactly what happened when I decided to do this 7 day cleanse.
My friend was telling me how she was doing the 21-day Clean Elimination Diet, so out of curiosity I did some Google-ing and discovered the lifestyle that is the Clean program. They have the whole shebang of cookbooks, supplements, recipe guides, a 21 day cleanse, and a 7 day cleanse - and thought to myself "huh, this looks worth trying, right?"
So last Monday I embarked on this Clean cleanse (redundant, no?). Note: many of you may actually recognize the program as it’s the one Tom Brady, Gisele Bündchen, and the Goop queen herself, Gwyneth Paltrow all follow. The program has you cut out sugary/acidic fruits and vegetables, all nightshades (e.g. tomatoes, eggplants, peppers, and potatoes), dairy, eggs, gluten, soy, peanuts, red meat, alcohol, coffee, and basically all processed foods. You're probably wondering, what the heck CAN I eat? Relax friends; you can have leafy greens, whole fruits and berries, fish, chicken, turkey, brown rice or quinoa, and lots of avocado and coconut products.
To be fair, I’ve been eating healthy(ish) for the past six plus months and have been working out regularly. So the program wasn’t horrendously different than a lot of what I already do: minimalizing bread and grain intake, not having a ton of dairy, and just trying to focus on portion control and wholesome meals. Key word: trying.
When purchasing the program online, it also comes with supplements and vitamins you’re supposed to incorporate with each meal. I didn’t feel like dishing out for the whole program and thought I’d do it on my own (with the help of a whey protein powder and the vitamins & probiotic I already take).
Here’s what a typical day on the program looks like:
Breakfast
Smoothie
Base: coconut/almond/rice/hemp milk or water. Add ins: berries, mangoes, pineapple, greens, almond butter, avocadoes, or coconut oil.
Lunch
"Clean" meal
Usually some variation of leafy greens, a Clean approved animal protein (or not!), and really just anything you want as long as it’s a solid meal.
Dinner
Smoothie or soup
Any variation of the smoothie mixes again.
On top of following the meal guidelines, you'll want to have a 12-hour window between your liquid dinner & breakfast, make sure to take your supplements and vitamins, drink a ton of water, AND keep track that you're staying ‘regular’ if you catch my drift…
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy! Thanks to the world wide web, I was able to find a whole list of recipes for the program. There are a ton that you can follow which makes this a less painful process. Here’s how my next seven days panned out. I’ll include all of the recipes at the bottom for your cooking pleasure.
Day 1
This was a Monday, which is already hard enough, but if I’m going to torture myself I might as well go full force. I went grocery shopping the day before (as I usually do on Sundays), and had semi-planned out my smoothies for the week ahead along with making my lunch for the next couple days #mealprepqueen.
After making my smoothie that morning I realized two things: I definitely did buy enough spinach, and I definitely did not buy enough fruit. During the day, I began re-planning all of my smoothies since I clearly underestimated things, and made another shopping list. All of this was taking too much mental capacity, as was work in general. And I was definitely craving a coffee...or three. I'm a breakfast kind of gal so not eating a full meal in the morning was super whack.
Feeling ambitious, I took this day on full force: I went to work, got my B12 shots (lol), went to barre class, AND popped by Trader Joe's after. Which doesn't seem like a ton, but boy was I excited to lay down when I finally got home. As I was making my smoothie that evening, things went a little haywire and I just kept adding more and more of each ingredient, ultimately ending up with two portions of a smoothie that I was too tired to even have. During the making of said smoothie, I had some soup I prepared the night before instead.
What I had: sexy cilantro shake, asparagus & oven roasted salmon for lunch, mushroom soup
Day 2
Not having to make a smoothie this morning was delightful because I was already running late for work. I had constant brain-fart all day and felt like I typically do mid-hangover: thinking just took a little too long. I tend to have headaches on rainy days to begin with, and of course there was a wild thunderstorm towards the end of the day. Which I also happened to get soaked during. Shortly after, I stepped into Express to buy some new socks and I then somehow got pen all over my new jacket, so I was very cranky.
To quote my own text about this moment of misery “this is one of those moments where I know it’s not a big deal but if i could cry and hit something and it were socially acceptable in public I would”. So yeah, living my best life!
I was able to distract myself with a Liquiteria smoothie (Blue Velvet to be specific), and a few episodes of Big Mouth - which if you haven’t watched yet, you should. Anyway, this day was very up and down, but overall I just felt like my brain was partially turned off. I kept losing trains of thoughts and would mix up my words. And in my defense, I’m usually great at remembering all of my tangents!
What I had: chocolate covered blueberries shake, mango & chicken with wild rice, blue velvet from Liquiteria
Day 3
Okay folks, this day was probably the hardest. I was extremely tired. Every call at work seemed to take forever; it was still raining all day, and I just felt so hungry. BUT, I started snacking on almonds and kale chips which was super helpful. I never thought I’d hear myself say “I’m excited to eat almonds”. Sad life.
I made my own sweetgreen bowl for lunch, it was pretty similar to a Harvest Bowl, which is my go-to order. I added shredded kale, apples, organic wild rice, cilantro, cucumber, raw beet, avocado, roasted chicken, roasted sweet potato, toasted almonds, and EVOO & a lemon squeeze as dressing.
I was using herbal tea as my pick me up, which is absolute trash in comparison to my usual 2-3 coffees a day. I finally caved mid afternoon and got a matcha green tea latte with coconut milk from Starbucks. Which was still not very helpful.
By the time I got home, I had no desire for another smoothie, so I had some more of my mushroom soup (still a liquid dinner, okay!?).
Note: though the program isn’t necessarily weight loss heavy, at this point I had lost 3 lbs (which I attribute to my healthier lifestyle as of late anyway, but still).
What I had: more of that giant portion of the chocolate covered blueberries shake, a sweetgreen salad, mushroom soup
Day 4
Things actually started looking up here. I felt less tired for the most part, and my hunger was more under control. I made the cinnamon rolls for breakfast shake in the morning, which would’ve been tastier if my blender actually chopped the almonds, pecans, and dates fully. Nonetheless, still pretty good.
Lunch was the rest of the mango and chicken with wild rice, which I have to say I genuinely enjoyed. I got lazy and used an Uncle Ben’s wild and brown rice mix, which I’m sure had some shit in it I wasn’t supposed to eat. But in the grand scheme of the cleanse, that doesn’t seem to be the worst thing I could’ve done. I snacked on more almonds throughout the day, how thrilling.
The program has you drinking a ton of water, and I clocked in at over 80 ounces by the end of the day. I usually do between 56 - 72 depending on if I’m working out or not. So this was a lot! And a lot of pee breaks that’s for sure. Which also means I was more active. In the words of Michael Scott, “Win win win”.
For dinner I ended up getting a smoothie bowl from Chalait but had to nix the bananas, strawberries, peanut butter, and granola. So I was left with Kale, Avocado, bee pollen, and almonds. LOL. It was basically a liquified salad. The bowl was fine but not good. Which is how I’d describe most of this detox diet.
What I had: cinnamon rolls for breakfast, mango and chicken with wild rice, chalait smoothie bowl
Day 5
Life was easier on day 5!! Not as tired, not as hungry, and for sure not as cranky. But for all those positives, I naturally had to have a negative. And man oh man, was my headache real. Caffeine withdrawals were very aggressive, and my head was pounding all day. I had another green tea matcha latte to feel better, which did not help.
This was a Friday, which made making plans interesting given I couldn't eat or drink much - so going out wasn’t really on my list. I got a smoothie from Juice Generation before seeing the new Avengers movie. 10/10 would recommend seeing - my knowledge of Marvel is very limited but I was still able to follow along and loved it. Also, Thor is phenomenal and a total babe.
What I had: peach apple cobbler shake, wilted spinach and spiced chicken (but I added more of that Uncle Ben’s rice), XO coco shake from JG
Day 6
Last day of the cleanse, hallelujah! Day 7 (Sunday) was my roommate's boozy birthday brunch, so I definitely wasn’t going to be following the cleanse then. Following a diet/any kind of regimen is definitely harder to follow on a weekend versus at work. Not that I’m a snack fiend, but when you’re lounging around or seeing friends, it’s easy to munch on whatever and want to be more relaxed about what you can and can't eat.
I was babysitting Saturday night, and by the time the kids were in bed and I was ordering Seamless,I had given up. I was so frickin’ hungry and had been craving eggs and Asian food all week. Obviously separately. I knew I would get eggs tomorrow, so I threw in the towel and ordered pad thai, a tuna roll, and calamari.
Honestly though if my cleanse were continuing on Sunday I don’t think I would’ve caved. But since I would be drinking my weight in mimosas within 18 hours, I thought it was okay.
What I had: blue velvet from liquiteria, wilted spinach and spiced chicken, pad thai, sushi rolls, and calamari
What I learned:
Doing a cleanse isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. But it isn’t easy either. If you’re lucky enough to eat whatever you want and not blow up like a whale it’ll likely be even harder for you. But truly, if you’re not already following some sort of guidelines as to what you eat, it’ll be really hard to be this strict all of a sudden. That said, 7 days isn't that long.
I think this would have been more effective in a few other scenarios (aka not randomly deciding to do it). Realistically, this would have the best results and serve as a nice ‘reset’ if I had been feeling extra gross lately, had been eating unhealthier than usual, had been feeling bloated for a bit, or maybe if I just wanted to see how cutting out various foods would affect me. Now I didn’t think about this when I spontaneously decided to do the cleanse, but I’m going to San Francisco today (two days post cleanse), so it does serve as a nice health kick prior to going on vacation.
I’m pretty reliant on coffee. This wasn’t shocking at all, but I did see I’m pretty cranky and sassy without it. Interestingly enough, I realized the thing I missed most was having a breakfast that wasn’t a smoothie. Often after working out I’ll have a smoothie/light salad for dinner anyway, so that wasn’t a big deal. But I missed my eggs & turkey bacon. I also crave any and all Asian foods more than anything else. Weird.
The cleanse helped the most with my portion control. I have this issue where if I have a plate in front of me and am hungry, I’ll likely eat everything on it. Having healthier and more filling meals that weren’t necessarily huge plates worth of food (looking at you, pasta) was very useful in realizing I could cool it with my food devouring habits.
The point above also goes for drinks...were this the 21 day cleanse, I probably would have worked on drinking less. But given one weekend of not drinking is nothing abnormal, this didn't affect me at all in that manner. But it would be interesting to see how 21 days of this cleanse affected my health as a whole.
Anyway, this was a fun experiment & health reset for me. I’d recommend trying it if you’re feeling stuck in your eating ways, want to cut out certain foods but can’t commit for too long, or if you’re just craving a weeks worth of smoothies. Here’s a Goop written manual that goes way more in depth on the cleanse for all you lovely folks. Enjoy!
Recipes
SEXY CILANTRO SHAKE
- 1 cup rice/nut/seed milk
- 1 cup coconut water
- 1 cup papaya (fresh), peeled and diced
- 1 cup fresh cilantro leaves
- ½ cup fresh or frozen mango or peaches
- 3 dates OR stevia to taste
CHOCOLATE COVERED BLUEBERRIES
- 1 large handful of frozen blueberries
- 1 handful of spinach
- dash of cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon of raw cacao
- 2 tablespoons almond butter
- ½ coconut milk and ½ coconut water (as much as you need for your blender) or you could replace the coconut water with green tea.
- dash of stevia as needed
- 1 packet Cleanse Shakes Chocolate (or other protein powder)
- optional: 1 tablespoon ground flax seed
BLUE VELVET SMOOTHIE
This is from Liquiteria, I didn't actually make it. But I'm sure it's simple enough, so here are the ingredients:
- acai
- blueberries
- vanilla whey protein
- coconut butter
- coconut sugar
- almond butter
- vanilla almond milk
CINNAMON ROLLS FOR BREAKFAST
- ½ cup almonds and 1 cup water OR 1 cup almond milk (unsweetened)
- 1 cup coconut water
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 pinch sea salt
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract or powder
- 3 pitted dates
- 1 tablespoon pecans
- stevia to taste
- 1 packet Cleanse Shakes Vanilla or Chocolate (or other protein powder)
- optional: 1 tablespoon ground flax seed
PEACH APPLE COBBLER
- ¼ cup pecans (whole or crushed)
- 1 cup coconut water
- 2 apples (any variety), cored and sliced into chunks (if organic, leave the peel on for added fiber and nutrients)
- 1 cup frozen or fresh peaches
- 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- 2 teaspoons vanilla powder or extract
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- ½ teaspoon ginger powder
- Pinch of sea salt
ASPARAGUS & OVEN ROASTED SALMON
I have no set recipe for this, it's just one of my easist go-to dishes that I tend to just wing.
- 1 bunch asparagus
- 4-6 oz salmon (or as much as you want)
Directions: I usually bake it the salmon at 425°F for 15 minutes or so. I coat it in salt, pepper, and whichever other spice I'm feeling that day.
For the asparagus, I start by washing & drying it, then cutting off the bottom inch. I use a skillet on medium-high heat with olive oil, I throw on half the asparagus and sprinkle it with salt & pepper. I take it off once it's cooked through and add the other half of the bunch. Easy peasy!
MUSHROOM SOUP
- 1½ ounce dried shiitake mushrooms
- 14 ounce button mushrooms, roughly diced (or any mushroom)
- 5 ounce cremini mushrooms, roughly diced (or any mushroom)
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 garlic cloves, finely diced
- 2 leeks, washed and roughly diced
- 1 celery stick (including leafy top), roughly diced
- 2 sprigs of fresh thyme
- 1 liter vegetable stock
- ¼ cup brown basmati rice
- 2 tablespoons wheat-free tamari
- 1½ cups non-dairy milk (such as rice milk)
- extra fresh thyme
- roughly chopped dry roasted almonds
Directions: Place the dried shiitake mushrooms in a bowl with enough hot water to cover, allow to soak for 10 minutes. Strain the mushrooms reserving approximately 1 cup of the liquid. Roughly chop the mushrooms and set aside.
Heat the olive oil in a good sized pot, add the garlic, leeks and celery and fry over a medium heat for 3-4 minutes until soft. Add the mushroom, including the shiitake and fry over a medium heat for a few minutes tossing well. Add the reserved shiitake liquid and the sprigs of thyme. Turn down the heat and placing a lid on the pot allow the mushrooms to gently cook for 10 minutes tossing the pan occasionally.
Add the rice and stock and bring to a gentle simmer, cook over a medium heat for 15-20 minutes until rice is tender. Using a stick blender or in batches in a food processor blend the soup until thick and creamy. Over a gentle heat stir in the milk and heat through continuing to stir for a few minutes until hot. Serve the soup topped with fresh thyme and the chopped almonds.
MANGO AND CHICKEN WITH WILD RICE
I subbed the wild & brown rice with an Uncle Ben's mix because I was lazy and it was done in 90 seconds in the microwave.
- 1/3 cup wild rice
- ½ cup brown basmati rice
- 2 small boneless skinless chicken breasts, cubed
- 1 small onion, diced
- ½ mango, diced
- juice of half a lemon
- 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
- 1 tablespoon coconut nectar
- salt and pepper to taste
- generous pinch hot pepper flakes
- ¼ cup fresh parsley, chopped
Directions: Soak the wild rice in cold water for an hour prior to cooking. Rinse wild rice and basmati rice, add to saucepan with 2 cups of water and ½ teaspoon salt. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer for 50 minutes or until all water has evaporated.
Meanwhile, coat a skillet with coconut oil and heat over medium-high heat. When pan is hot, add chicken, sprinkle with salt and pepper and cook for 5 minutes, then turn each piece to cook the other side. Add onion, cook for 2-3 minutes, until golden, then add mango, lemon juice, vinegar, hot pepper flakes and coconut nectar. Toss in rice and parsley. Stir and serve immediately.
WILTED SPINACH AND SPICED CHICKEN
- 4-5 ounce chicken breast (or use ½ cup cooked chickpeas)
- 1-2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 teaspoons ground paprika
- 1 teaspoon cumin seeds
- ¼ teaspoon ground coriander seed
- 2 tablespoons sliced red onions
- 1 ripe mango, peeled and cut into large chunks
- 2 large handfuls of fresh spinach
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 1 teaspoon sea salt
Directions: Preheat oven 350°F. Place the chicken breast in a baking dish, coat with olive oil, sea salt, paprika, cumin and coriander. Bake for 12 minutes or until fully cooked (check with a fork). Remove from the oven and let it cool on a cutting board, once the chicken is slightly cooled, cut into thin pieces.
Meanwhile, heat a large saute-pan over medium-high heat with 1 tablespoon of coconut oil and gently cook the onions for 2-3 minutes, stirring continuously. Add the mango and cook until warmed through. Add in the sliced chicken breast, gently toss then add in the spinach and lemon juice. Cover the pan and allow the spinach to steam. Sprinkle in a touch of sea salt and serve immediately.